Careless Memories
by beccatt
Summary: Takes place during Superman Returns and goes AU from there. A different series of events following the test launch near crash. Richard can’t help but be threatened by the Man of Steel as he flies back into Lois’ life.
1. Chapter 1

Careless Memories Rated PG-13  
Fandom: Superman Returns  
Word Count: 2829  
Summary: Takes place during Superman Returns and goes AU from there. A different series of events following the test launch near crash. Richard can't help but be threatened by the Man of Steel as he flies back into Lois' life.

A/N - Title taken from a Duran Duran song (cos I'm lame like that)

Chapter 1

It had been a close one.

Too close.

Clark's heart raced at the terrifying realization that he'd almost not been fast or strong enough to save Lois this time. That his first heroic deed after being conspicuously absent for five years had almost ended in utter failure. The awkward bulk of the broken plane had proved to be a worthy opponent against his powers, and he'd barely managed to get the plane stopped in time before it shattered into the ground below him. This time, he'd been lucky. Very lucky. If the point of impact had occurred other than the stadium he was currently hovering over, it would have had a very fatal and messy ending. In a crowded city street, Clark would have failed to stop the death spiral and many lives would have been lost at his hands. It had been that close - only a few feet separating utter failure from success.

And Lois would have been lost to him. For good, this time.

But he hadn't failed. That lone thought whispered through his mind as he carefully lowered the bulk of the fractured fuselage to the beckoning baseball field, making certain as he did so that the shocked ballplayers had managed to get themselves out of harms way. It wouldn't look good to have bystander casualties on the ground, regardless of how many lives he'd just saved. The public was a fickle beast and he knew that only too well.

A cloud of dust welcomed the shell of what used to be an elite and sophisticated aircraft. Over the fractured nose of the plane, Clark could see the pilots looking at each other in stunned silence as they processed what had just occurred. They'd had front row seats for the rapidly approaching earth, helpless to avert the impending impact. There was nothing they could have done to prevent their aircraft falling from the sky.

Clark studied them as the pilots removed the now unnecessary oxygen masks from their faces and acknowledged the silent gratitude they sent in his direction. In that moment, Clark was reminded why he had returned to Metropolis, and ultimately donned his suit again.

Because he made a difference in a world that needed him.

And damned if it didn't feel good to do something right for a change. How could he even have considered giving all of this up for even a moment?

This is who he was. What he was destined to do.

And he was glad he was back.

* * *

Lois let out the breath that she hadn't even realized she'd been holding, hearing those around her doing the same.

They were alive.

Somehow, their lives had been spared.

An eternity had seemed to have passed since the first blip of the engines that had thrown them all on edge. Regret and fear had speared through the cabin as that little blip became a tangible beast, rocketing them towards orbit before spinning out of control to the ground below. In an instant, they had been thrust into a shared unity - they were all going die together and that made them strangers no longer. They shared a common fate and it was terrifying. It wasn't the first time that Lois had cursed Superman's absence but it was sure to be her last. Yet, just as that thought had flickered through her mind, a speck of blurred color had shot past her peripheral vision. What sounded like footsteps above them had her questioning her own sanity, not daring to hope that Superman had shown up after five years to save the day.

But now as she stared at the seat back in front of her, she had all the evidence she needed. They were alive. She was alive.

He was back.

And he had saved her. Again.

_Oh god, he was back…_

Lois could hear her fellow passengers murmuring amongst themselves and she cast a quick look around, not surprised to find the same wide-eyed wonder present on those around her. A miracle had just occurred and they had been there to witness it.

Another screech of metal had Lois jumping in her seat, her heart leaping into her throat.

And then he framed the doorway.

Superman.

Striding confidently into the plane like he hadn't been missing from the face of the earth for the last five years, he still managed to take her breath away. The look of quiet concern coloring his vivid eyes as they swept over the survivors unnerved her. She couldn't help but wonder if he even knew that she had been on that plane and if he would be as surprised to see her as she was to see him. Was this a random act of heroism or had he come to her rescue for the umpteenth time?

"Is everybody alright?" he asked in that comforting velvet voice she remembered so well. That voice… so familiar. A voice she never thought she'd hear again.

Fumbling for her seatbelt, she was on her feet before she even was aware of moving.

Their eyes met.

And she knew.

He hadn't just been saving a plane from sure disaster. He'd been saving her. Again. Precious seconds ticked by as they regarded each other, neither aware of the curious looks the passengers were beginning to give each other.

"Are you ok?"

The absolute concern in his voice paralyzed her. Oh god, why did he have to look so concerned? She realized in that instant how much she had been lying to herself.

She wasn't over him. Not by a long shot.

* * *

The swiveling of heads in front of him served to break the spell he'd been held captive under, the intensity of the moment not at all subtle. Clark was showing too much emotion and he knew it - but he was helpless to look away. After five years, Lois still had the ability to reduce him to a gawking boy rather than the contrived superhero that he'd worked so hard to develop and maintain.

Clearing his throat, Clark attempted to do damage control. He'd already screwed up and knew it. Staring at Lois like that in a plane full of reporters hadn't been the smartest thing in light of the sensation his return was sure to bring. Granted, reporters that he'd just saved from certain death, but still reporters none-the-less; who would be blind to miss the electric tension between the hero whose name was known world-wide and the one reporter whose relationship with Superman was almost legendary.

God, he'd missed her.

* * *

Lois knew she looked like a lovesick fool, gaping at Superman like she'd never seen him before, but her muscles refused to listen to any signals given by her brain.

"I hope this doesn't put any of you off flying," she heard him say in his official superhero voice. "Statistically speaking, it's still the safest way to travel."

_Oh god. _If she was still under the delusion that her presence on the aircraft had been a coincidence, hearing those words uttered from his mouth put things into a whole new perspective. He had said that very thing the very first time she had met him; the very first time he had come to her aid and saved her life. Those words weren't meant to comfort the terrified passengers, they were meant for her alone.

She couldn't do this!

Just when she had finally managed to convince herself that she was over her Superman crush, he had flown back into her life with as much dramatic flair as the first time she'd met him. She still remembered that exact moment with the utmost of clarity. It was hard to forget plummeting from the roof of the Planet to meet the pavement, only to be scooped up by a strong pair of arms at the very last second. And not only had he saved her, but he had saved many on the street below from being crushed by the helicopter that had finally teetered off of the roof. It had been a day that had been forever etched in her memory. Her entire life had changed in that one moment. A man who could fly had been introduced to the world and she had been the one to introduce him.

Her life had never been the same since.

With one last searing look, Lois watched Superman turn away from her and head for the open doorway. He was leaving and she found herself flooded with emotion. Regret. Anger. Fear.

Love.

_Oh god…_

Panic gripped her as she realized he was getting ready to do what he did best - fly off into the sunset with little regard for the emotional aftermath he would leave behind.

Well, not this time. Lois had a few things she needed to say to him, unheeding that this was neither the time nor the place. With little grace, she shoved her way out of her seat and into the aisle, not caring that every eye was on her. Even in light of the averted disaster, her fellow passengers were captivated by this tableau and were unable to do anything but watch it play out. The question had always been 'did Superman really love Lois Lane?' Well, that question was certainly being answered.

The cheering sounds of the crowded stadium reached her ears as Lois stumbled down the aisle. She could see him framed in the doorway, larger than life as he acknowledged the cheering crowd with his standard stoicism.

Lois reached out to touch his arm, anything to prevent him from leaving her.

Again.

Before her fingers met the spongy spandex of his suit, he had taken flight and was gone.

So many repressed emotions assaulted her as she watched him fly into the sky and she found herself overcome by a nauseating dizziness that would not be ignored.

And just as she had done that first fateful night she had met him, Lois Lane fainted.

* * *

'Just fly,' Clark instructed himself, the urge to turn around nearly overwhelming. Leaving Lois again just then had been one of the hardest things he had ever done, but he knew it was necessary. He'd already shown too much emotion where she was concerned and he wasn't naive enough to think that it wouldn't be in print before the day was out.

God, he'd missed her.

Her heartbeat comforted him as he rose into the welcoming sky. Now that he'd locked onto it again, it would always be there in the background, soothing him when he couldn't be with her. A blip in the rhythm gave him pause, however and he gave into temptation and looked behind him.

He sighed deeply and cursed his fate of loving Lois Lane.

Clark could see the tiny frame of her body splayed against the loud yellow emergency ramp that he had inflated when he'd ripped the aircraft's door off. He knew that he should ignore it, that paying anymore attention to Lois would be damaging to them both. Lois had a child and was engaged to another man. She didn't need her name linked to him anymore than it already was.

Per usual, however, he was helpless to ignore his damsel in distress. The knowledge that she could be injured overrode his common sense. Without hesitation, he turned around and went back for her, carefully lifting her into his arms, knowing as he did so that he was damning them both to speculation and gossip.

It couldn't be helped.

* * *

A grim silence had transformed the newsroom at the Daily Planet. Nobody spoke and all eyes were glued to the television monitors mounted overhead. Live coverage of the disaster could be found on every channel and Richard White watched with horror as his fiancee's fate was to be determined. The plane that she was on was dropping from the radar at an alarming speed and even the news anchors were unable to stay objective or impartial. Richard couldn't even remember if he'd told Lois that he'd loved her that morning before she had rushed off to join the other reporters onboard the now doomed flight.

"Is Mommy going to be ok?" Jason whispered to him and Richard did his best to shield his son's eyes from the terrifying truth being reported. His son shouldn't be watching but Richard couldn't bring himself to turn away from the monitors. He couldn't even bring himself to lie and tell his son that his mom would be fine, the gravity of the situation leaving little doubt as to the outcome.

"The wings…" one newscaster stuttered, relaying the information she had just received. "Both wings are completely gone. There seems to be little hope that the pilots will be able to land this aircraft safely. This is a truly upsetting turn of events…"

Richard's heart clenched in his chest at the news, knowing that there wasn't anything that could be done when an aircraft lost both wings.

Nothing except crash.

Seconds seemed to take hours and Richard waited with bated breath for the final confirmation that his Lois was gone from his life forever.

The newsroom watched as the typically impartial news reporter on the screen in front of them startled at a piece of information that had just been given to her.

Eyes wide, she announced breathlessly, "I've just been informed that… Superman has been spotted and is currently trying to assist the aircraft with landing…"

Richard's breath hitched. Superman. The one man whose shadow he'd been living in since he'd first met Lois. A man who had disappeared five years ago, leaving Lois willing to take solace in his arms. A man larger than life who was now apparently back.

And he'd never been so thankful to hear that news in his life.

Live footage jumped on the monitor; the televised baseball game now covering one of the most intense situations that had taken place in years. Richard gasped at the site of the broken aircraft hovering mere feet from the ground, a tiny speck at the tip. A blue and red speck. The camera zoomed in and Richard watched as Superman carefully lowered the fuselage to the ground, this live demonstration of strength not lost on him. Richard knew all about the amazing things Superman had done before disappearing and had always watched with a sense of fascination, if not envy. But this was the first time the superhero's heroic actions had directly affected him.

The roar of the bullpen startled him as a collective cheer let loose. Not only was Superman back, he'd saved one of their own. Richard continued to watch the monitors as Superman tore off the door and entered the aircraft he'd just set down. What he wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall…

"Did Superman save mommy?"

Richard jerked his head down to look at the son he held in his arms, tears welling up in his eyes as he nodded. "I think he did."

He looked over at his uncle and could practically see the news reporting wheels spinning. This story was huge and even he knew it. He couldn't help but wonder if Superman knew Lois was on the plane but quickly decided it didn't matter. If Superman saved that plane because Lois Lane was on it, well… he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

Superman had kept the plane from crashing and if Lois came out of the experience unscathed, he'd deal with his feelings of inadequacy at a later time. The sight of the superhero reappearing at the doorway and regarding the crowd was reassuring. Richard couldn't help but think that the superhero wouldn't take the time to pose like he was if there had been anybody inside who was truly injured.

"Look! There is Mommy!" Jason announced excitedly, pointing at the TV.

Framed just behind the bulk of Superman, Richard picked out Lois, relieved to see that she appeared, by all intents and purposes, unscathed. Another gasp in the newsroom was heard as Lois collapsed and slid down the emergency ramp just after Superman flew away. Along with the entire nation, Richard watched Superman return and take Lois in his arms, once again taking to the sky.

With Richard's fiancée cuddled against his chest.

"Daddy, where is Superman taking mommy?"

TBC

A/N I'd love you forever if you left a review and let me know what you think of this fic! It's not beta'd so if you see any errors, feel free to point them out. I have a tendency to leave out words in sentences and my proofreading never seems to find them! Oh and if POV line breaks are missing, i've tried a HUNDRED times to correct it and it keeps going back to having none. Grr. Hate that.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- I want to assure anybody reading this fic that I will treat Richard fairly. I like him and won't make him a villain. I absolutely loved the way that Richard was a bit of a fangirl in the fic 'Little Secrets' by Kalalanekent (one of my fave fics, btw), so there may even be a little bit of that. I'd also like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed and commented on this fic! It really helped kick me in the butt to write this next chapter, so thank you!**

**I apologize for the lack of POV breaks in the last chapter and how confusing it was to figure out who was talking, etc - I HAD them in but FFN took my formatting away (grrr) I added them again manually. Ok, enough babbling. Onto the fic…**

.

Careless Memories

Chapter 2

Lois' first thoughts were that she had died and she was flying through the heavens. She could feel the wind caressing her face, the sun warm against her cheeks. Her body felt weightless.

Except… she distinctly remembered surviving the crash. In fact, the aching of her head blew that divine intervention angle right out of the water. A jumbled series of events flooded through her mind until one thing stood out in blaring detail.

Superman.

Eyes flying open, Lois' suspicions were confirmed. Her cheek rested against the 'S' insignia that could belong to no other. Lifting her head up, Lois met his eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked softly, dreading this confrontation - yet desperate to hear her voice again.

Lois nodded, then frowned. "What happened?"

"You fainted."

Lois sighed. So typical. He had that effect on her, damn him. "Where are you taking me?"

"I'm taking you to the hospital," he informed her, unconsciously bringing her closer to his body.

"What? No!" she replied with just a small amount of desperation, tensing in his arms. "I hate hospitals. I'm fine."

"Lois, you hit your head, didn't you? You've got more than one bump from what I can tell."

"I don't want to go to the hospital." She glared at him to get her point across.

Clark sighed heavily. This was the Lois he remembered alright - stubborn as hell. He knew that if he took her to the hospital when she didn't want to go, it wouldn't end well.

At all.

"Fine. Where do you want me to take you?"

He shouldn't even have bothered asking, he already knew.

"The Planet," was her expected reply.

He didn't respond, merely changed the direction of his flight. Too much was being left unsaid and it was making him increasingly nervous. He knew Lois well enough to know that his absence wouldn't be ignored without comment. He had walked out on her without saying goodbye, taking the cowards way out after stealing her memories.

"Why were you taking me to the hospital?"

His gaze darted to hers warily. "Well… because you fainted. I thought you might be seriously hurt. And… I was worried."

She studied him, not missing the slightly guilty look in his eyes. "Did you fly anybody else to the hospital? I mean, luggage was flying from the overhead bins, the seats were smashing together... I couldn't' have been the only one hurt."

He didn't want to answer her question, knowing that he'd be revealing more than he wanted to at this time. The silence stretched out.

"Superman?" Lois prompted.

"You're the only one," he admitted, not daring to look her in the eyes.

"Oh." Lois didn't' know what to think of that. God, why had her life become so complicated? "Uh…. Thanks."

"For what?" he asked, surprised, fully expecting the hard-hitting Lois Lane questions to commence.

"For not letting us crash."

"Oh. Well, you're welcome."

Lois studied his face as they flew along. He hadn't changed a bit, as far as she could tell. Five years was a long time… yet he looked the same as if she'd just seen him yesterday. If was as if he had never left.

Except he _had _left. Without saying goodbye.

For five long years.

Damn him!

And that thought alone took precedence over any acceptance of not being over him, of knowing that she still loved him as much as she had before he left. That she'd hadn't been fooling herself when it came to the man she'd agreed to marry; her engagement ring catching the sunlight in an obscene manner, almost as if it was mocking her. She loved Richard, she did. But Lois couldn't deny to herself any longer that she loved Superman more. And always had. Except he had left her and she didn't know if she could forgive him for that.

She hated herself at that very moment. How could he do this to her? Turn her life upside down, just as he had when he'd disappeared off the face of the earth? Richard had been there for her when she had been at her lowest, although it wasn't a coincidence that both men who had a piece of her heart shared a similar eye color. Richard had reminded Lois of the Man of Steel and it wasn't long before she had turned to Richard for more than just comfort. Their relationship had happened so quickly, with Lois finding herself pregnant mere weeks after they were together. She couldn't do this to Richard, she couldn't. He was a good man and didn't deserve this.

But the best thing in her life had occurred during Superman's long absence.

Jason.

He alone had made the past five years bearable. He was her life. He and _Richard_ were her life.

But now Superman was back. God, it made her head hurt.

* * *

Clark watched the emotions play over Lois' face, knowing that the inevitable tongue-lashing was about to commence. It didn't help that Clark knew he more than deserved every harsh word she was bound to spew his way.

After what seemed like an eternity, Lois looked him in the eye and his stomach dropped. Yep, there was no doubt.

Lois Lane was mad as hell.

* * *

Richard paced his uncle's office, wondering not for the first time where his fiancée was. It had been ten long minutes since live television had captured Lois being flown away in the arms of the newly returned Man of Steel. The same man who had left the planet for five years and subsequently had left Lois with a broken heart. Richard knew there was more to that relationship than Lois had shared with him, yet any time he'd try to broach the subject, she'd made it abundantly clear that she didn't wish to talk about Superman. And he hadn't pried, actually thankful that he didn't have to know the intimate details of his fiancée's relationship with the most famous man on the planet. Richard knew instinctively that Lois had never quite gotten over Superman and he also knew that if not for the fact that they'd created a son together, she would not have accepted his ring.

But he loved her and had been determined to make their relationship work.

All that was subject to change now, however, now that _he _was back.

"Where did he take her?" Richard grumbled to his uncle not for the first time.

Perry White could hardly contain his journalistic joy. The biggest story since Superman first debuted in Metropolis and his star reporter was right in the middle of it. Just like the old times. Now if he could just get Olson to get some decent pictures of Superman's return and he'd be ecstatic.

A knock on the window had both men swiveling their heads.

"Great Caesar's Ghost…" Perry muttered, knowing before he turned around that there was only one person who could knock on the window of one of the tallest buildings in Metropolis.

"Mommy!" Jason cried, jumping up off the couch and running to the window.

Hovering on the other side of the glass was Superman with a windblown Lois in his arms. Fumbling with the latch, Perry threw the window open, standing back as the caped wonder floated through easily, setting Lois on her feet just inside the office.

Lois jerked herself away from Clark immediately as if she couldn't stand to touch him for another second and his heart sank. She had refused to say another word to him on the remainder of the flight and he knew he was in trouble. The fact that he knew that he completely deserved her reaction didn't help matters any. Nobody did silent treatments quite like Lois. She said more with her silences than she did with her words.

And he loved that about her.

Clark watched as a tiny dynamo launched himself at Lois, wrapping tiny arms around her legs. This was her son, Jason. Unexpected tears welled up in his eyes at the reunion. She had a family now and he wasn't a part of it. Why had he left? It was a question that had ran through his mind every day for the past five years.

Watching Lois with her son was bittersweet. This was a whole new side of Lois Lane that he hadn't encountered before. She was a mother and it suited her.

* * *

Richard held back, finding himself slightly star struck and feeling decidedly awkward. Superman was so much taller and larger than he'd expected, Lois had looked dwarfed in his arms. It was almost a surreal feeling.

When Jason had thrown himself at his mother, Richard found himself watching Superman's reaction. He was surprised to see the pain that flickered across the superhero's face, realizing at that moment that Superman still harbored feelings for Lois.

How did one compete with a superhero?

Richard decided he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. He crossed the room and took Lois in his arms, wondering why he felt slightly wrong in doing so. "Thank god you're ok," he whispered to her, casting a quick glance to the hero behind her. This was a man who could crush him with one finger and that realization was a bit unnerving, if he was honest with himself. Except he didn't find any jealousy in the superhero's face, merely a pained acceptance as the two men made eye contact and regarded each other

"Mommy, we saw you almost crash on tv!" Jason announced, breaking the silence.

Lois startled at that bit of information. "It was on TV?"

Richard nodded, not wanting to add that the entire nation saw Superman fly away with her. He addressed the hero for the first time, holding out his hand. "Uh, Richard White. I'd like to thank you for what you did today."

Clark schooled his face and took the proffered hand, making an effort to not indulge in the typical male pissing contest to see who had the stronger grip. His advantage was more than a little unfair. "Uh, I was happy to do it." He spared a quick look at Lois, catching her eye, and watched as her face hardened once more.

"Yes, thank you, Superman," she said frostily. "You can leave now."

Yep, Lois was still mad.

"Lois!" Richard looked at his fiancée, aghast at the tone she had just used when talking to Superman. This was a Lois he hadn't seen before and he wondered exactly had happened to prompt it.

"What, Richard?" she challenged, daring him to say more.

Clark backed away and floated towards the open window, not entirely surprised at Lois' snippiness. The whole situation was awkward and he was more than happy to get away from it. He had a lot of thinking to do.

"Bye Superman!" Jason called. "Thanks for helping my mommy!"

Clark smiled gently at the boy who reminded him so much of his mother. "You're welcome, Jason. Goodbye."

And then he was gone, leaving only a gust of wind behind.

Jason turned to his parents happily. "Superman knows who I am!"

Richard watched Lois frown. "You told him about Jason?" he asked.

Lois shook her head. "No. It didn't… uh.. Come up."

"Please tell me you at least found out where he's been," Perry inquired, mentally writing the headlines that would follow this story.

"No, I didn't."

He stared at her in horror. "What exactly did you find out then?"

She met his intimidating look with one of her own. "Nothing."

Perry threw up his hands. "You were in the exclusive company of the most sought out story of the decade for at least ten minutes and you asked him _nothing_?"

Lois bristled. "I was unconscious during most of it," she pointed out.

"And when you weren't unconscious? What did you talk about?" he challenged.

"I told you. Nothing. We didn't talk. And I don't want to discuss this any more. I'm tired and my head hurts. I want to go home."

Perry shook his head, muttering, "The biggest damn story and you kept your mouth shut, letting your personal issues get in the way of your job." At the glare he was receiving, he sighed. "Ok fine. Go home. Get some rest. But I expect a in-depth eyewitness account of what happened out there today."

Lois nodded. "I can do that."

"_And_," he continued, "I want you to find Superman and find out where he's been for the last five years."

"Perry!"

"Lois, you're the one he talks to. I don't care what baggage you have with him, you will get me that interview." Moving to the office door, Perry yelled, "Why is everyone standing around? We have a paper to put out!"

The employees who had been watching while Superman had flown into the chief's office scurried into action.

"Olsen!"

Jimmy hustled over to his boss. "Yes, Chief?"

"You did get pictures of Superman, didn't you?"

Jimmy held up his camera proudly. "Of course."

Perry nodded. "At least one of my people does what they are supposed to do. Get those printed out and bring them to my office."

Richard took Jason from Lois' arms and guided her out of the office. "I'm taking Lois and Jason home," he informed his uncle.

Perry grunted. "Take care of them." He headed back to his desk before turning back around. "Oh and Richard? Make sure she gets that interview."

Richard sighed and nodded tiredly. Exactly what he wanted to do - make sure that his fiancée played nice with Superman, he thought bitterly. He wasn't looking forward to it, especially given the surly mood Lois was in.

But before that happened, he and Lois really needed to talk.

Tbc

At this point in the movie, Lois still thought that Richard was Jason's father, so that is how it is in this fic. Reviews and comments are always appreciated and again, if there are any blaring errors, please point them out! Oh I also want to add that Lois won't stay mad for long.


End file.
